Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Your cock deserves a montage
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
