a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
