wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
