My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
