I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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