he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
