just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize