Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
