omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
