Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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