Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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