At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
