Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
