Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just high enough for therapy.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
