if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
