Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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