Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
