Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
