So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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