Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
