Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
