you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
