My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
