whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
