no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize