I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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