worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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