no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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