: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
