Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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