I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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