put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
