You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
