That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
pray to the hookup gods
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
