Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
