But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
