the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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