I want to have your abortion
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
