know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize