so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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