its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
