hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
