Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
