Whoa Z and x make the same sound
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
