Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
