fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
birth control should be required to get into college
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
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