So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
