I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
