And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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