Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
