WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
