You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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