Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
