Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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