Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
