so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
